I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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