That's when you crack a 10am beer
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
