you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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