you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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