i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
