Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
