Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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