True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
