I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Randomize
