I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
