my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
