My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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