Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
