he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
