I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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