I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
