i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
