ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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