I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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