Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
