how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
