The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
