Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
can u get pink eye on your cock?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
