Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Sober January is a disaster.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
