doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Randomize
