Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
