He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
