I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
