This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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