Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
