Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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