if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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