I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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