so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
