dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
