Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
