Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
