I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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