My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize