I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize