I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
