On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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