I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
