Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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