Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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