just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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