i may or may not be watching the land before time
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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