god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
