i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
