i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
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