So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
