summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
